xemowhorex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - well it's official. i suck at interviews. which i knew. so i guess that for me, right now this means that i really don't have any choice but to take this job if they offer it. because really the likely hood of me getting another job after aaa closes with any kind of quickness. let alone a job that pays anything that i can live off of. so i have to take this one. they asked me what integrity and ethics means to me. and i drew a blank on what the words mean at all. like in a dictionary sense. i said some bull shit about how ethics means doing what you think is right no matter what. and as soon as i said it i realized how horrible that would sound to some one who's looking to hire you. so i tried to adjust it to say that what ever is right by you or the rules set by your employer.... and i told him i was drawing a blank in integrity that i didn't have an answer for what that beans to me... it was just bad. really bad. then they asked me to describe a time when my ethics were challenged and how was it difficult or some shit. . so trying to think along the lines of my answer to what ethics mean to me i said something about how superiors here tend to not follow what policy stats. and you tell a person one thing and they'll tell them something else just to appease them. and then i'm left to make it work. and yeah i don't think it even made and sense. so any way when Sean called back after talking to they interview guy he was all "well your right. he could tell that you don't interview very well. there was a little bump with the ethics question..." but he still wants me to come in and meet with him and the owner nicole. so i didn't fuck it up completely. i think that's only because he kind of knows me from working with me already and kind of had it set in his mind that i'd do well there. if it were a non biased company i'm sure it would have been blown fully. so then the rest of the night i felt like a worthless douche who can't even pass a shoe in interview. and what kind of idiot doesn't know what integrity and ethics means? is as feeling all anxious for no fucking good reason at all because after all i didn't really blow it i just didn't ace it. so i decided that maybe that was the time to try the clonazepam. which really just made me sleep more than easing any anxiety or jitters. but it was just as well cause it was bed time any way. i have to go to a depression class tonight. i think it lasts for 2 hours. not looking forward to that. maybe it'll be informative though. maybe I'll meet some nice depressives. 8:57 a.m. - Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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