xemowhorex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - totally forgot that there was an art show in sf that i wanted to go to last night. instead i stayed in and cleaned. it needed to be done. more still needs to be done. this is all part of the process. or cycle. however you want to put it. i go in to full self destruct mode. drink too much, sleep too much, call out sick too much, don't take the dogs out often enough, don't leave the house enough. don't clean, barely bathe. then i realize how fucking disgusting, and miserable i am, and fall just short of total annihilation. so now i'm on to the reset stage. i clean the apartment. i shower daily. even go so far as to put on lotion and brush my hair. amazing, i know. move on to walking the dogs to the park daily. do any over time i can get my hands on. buy tickets to shows i fully intend on seeing. put in applications to jobs that will never hire me on account of my poor attendance. this keeps up for any where between 3 days to a month. usually around 2 weeks. rinse, repeat. the goal this time and i really have a good feeling about it ('cause that doesn't happen with every reset...) is to maintain this normalcy, this pseudo productivity for at least 2 months. reassess at that time. hopefully conclude that it's for the best and continue maintenance. 6:22 a.m. - Sunday, Mar. 30, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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